Everything in Moderation?

This is something we in the weight loss community hear very often, you can have everything you want but in moderation. I think I’m one of those special people who can’t do that. 

It took me a little bit of time to really see results from WW and I started getting discouraged. So instead of eating my feelings, I put that frustration into waking 3+ miles at least 3x a week. To keep myself accountable, I walk with my neighbor and best friend Mary who has the same goal of health as I do. 

So finally after 2 weeks, I saw results. When I lost my first 7lbs I was ecstatic; but I let myself have a bit too much freedom. I was under the impression that I could eat a few cookies here and there, and if I’m being honest more than that. I got lost in the moderation of it all. I was using up my daily smart points and dipping into my weeklies because I thought it was ok. 

Boy was I wrong. Don’t get me wrong, it felt great to eat what I wanted “in moderation” but the scale made me feel otherwise. Since that first loss, I have only lost an additional 3lbs bringing the grand total for one month to 10lbs. 

For someone who has as much as I do, more than 100lbs to lose, the weight should be melting off. 

So I reassessed what I had been eating and discovered that, even in moderation, my body can’t have cookies every day. Now as a treat maybe once a month, yes I will be more than happy to allow myself a few cookies. And I will savor them. I will enjoy them because I don’t eat them all the time. 

Moderation may work for some people, but it sure as shit won’t work for me. 

I’m feeling ravenous today. Nothing has satisfied me. 

I didn’t walk today yet either. It’s killing me. 

But I’m hungry. So so hungry. 

I’ve eaten well today. But I’m starving right now. I’m at work. I didn’t bring food with me. And I’m starving. 

I’ve drank enough water to satisfy a camel. I’ve had lunch already. And I’m hungry. 

It’s probably because I’m bored. And probably because I’m tired. I didn’t take my pills yesterday and it’s throwing me off. Today is the first day in a week that I snoozed my alarm. I feel groggy and fatigued. I know rest days are important but I’m not willing to rest until I get what I want. 

So when I get off work, I’m changing into my workout clothes and driving home to walk. I was going to go to the gym upstairs but it’s too beautiful outside to be inside. 

On the plus side, I’m not feeling fat today. I feel empowered today. 
XOXO

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Feeling extra emotional this evening. 

I miss my friends and family back home something fierce. 

I’m working at the rink I rarely work at and it’s making me realize how much I love my home rink. I am lucky enough to work with my significant other and some of the best people in the world. But being here, I miss Matt even though I saw him this morning. 

It’s national best friend day which makes me miss my best friend so much it hurts. 

I haven’t seen my parents in almost a year and I haven’t seen my sister in almost two years. I miss them all so much. 

But most of all, my emotional state is coming from this book. 


It Was Me All Along is a gut wrenching tale of a woman who used food in times of stress, loneliness, and heartache. As a big girl myself, I am finding a lot in common with this book and author. 

Today was my weigh-in day. I am sad to say, the number on the scale has not moved at all. But someone in the group that I am in on Facebook posted this quote today that really has lifted me up. 

So what you’re not where you want to be. At least you’re not where you used to be. Don’t let that discourage you, let it encourage you. All that matters is that you’re taking steps forward, so keep moving forward. Be proud of yourself. 

I’m not sure who it was that said that, but I needed it today. I’ve been killing it with my workouts this week and I’ve been tracking everything in WW. Even though the scale hasn’t moved, I’m doing what’s best for me. It’s a tough pill to swallow for sure but one that I need to remember. I’m doing everything right and everything in my power to become the person I was meant to be.  

XOXO

Doing this for me

I’m doing this for me”

I haven’t thought too much about why I’m doing what I’m doing. There’s the obvious reasons of wanting to be health and live longer to see where life takes me. But I haven’t really thought too much deeper than that. One thing that I’ve come to realize, is that you have to want it for yourself, and not for anyone else. 

I’m sitting outside in this beautiful, sunny day thinking about what I’m going to do with my day. I’m catching up on my YouTube and one of my favorite influencers is Laura Lee. She recently posted a video that talks about how she has gotten where she is and why she hasn’t lost followers and how she stays motivated. In it she’s talking to us, her subscribers, about investing in ourselves and no one else. “I’m not a gambler, but if I was I’d bet on me” (paraphrased) is a quote that she lives by. Of course she loves her husband and her mom and her cats but above all, she loves herself. 

In this journey that I am on, I often have to remember that I am doing this for me. Of course I have the support of my friends and family, but I have to be my biggest supporter. I’m investing in myself by getting fit and losing weight. I’m investing in myself by getting healthy so that I can have experiences. 

Several months ago, Matt and I went on a trip back east for Christmas. On that flight, I had to use the seatbelt extender for the first time. That was a real wake up call for me because we want to be able to travel together and have all these fun experiences. But with the shape I was in at the time, that was next to impossible. Since then, I don’t get winded walking long distances and I can run again; but I am nowhere near where I want to be. 

So I am investing in myself. Only I can do this for me. 

Hard work and determination will get me where I want to be. 

Only I can get where I need to be. 

So follow my journey, give me tips, and I will share mine with you. 

It takes a group to move a boulder, but you have to put the effort in yourself. 

How can we help eachother? Let me know using the hashtag #deesweightlossjourney on twitter and instagram so that we may inspire ourselves and others.

XOXO

I LOVE PIZZAAAA

So I had a rough day the other day. Not a rough day I guess, but more of a sad day. Here I am thinking I’m hot shit and lost all this weight cause my clothes feel good and I have more energy blah blah blah. But nooooooooo. I even bought a 3x shirt that is a little baggy on me from a store that I have been having to buy 3x cause that’s all that fits. 

I had to go to my doctor for a follow up for a few things as well as I wanted my thyroid tested. Well when they weighed me, I was shocked by the number on the scale. I had gained so much and was so upset. But I didn’t want to let that get me down. 

Since then I have eaten on track and not skipped writing anything down. I can’t mess this up, not this time. And I won’t. I even made sure that I had points left over to celebrate my neighbors last party before she goes home for the summer! I’m so proud of myself and happy that I have chosen this as my new lifestyle. 

With that, I wanted to share with you guys a little pizza recipe that I made up for dinner the other day. It’s a little unconventional considering that it’s made with cheddar cheese and spaghetti sauce but her, you gotta do what you can.

Amazing 6pt Pizza


  • 1 Joseph’s Honey wheat flatbread (3pt=1flatbread)
  • Safeway Kitchens pasta sauce (1pt=1/4cup)
  • Kraft Natural Cheese Fat Free Shredded Cheddar (1pt=5/8cup)
  • Horseless Turkey Pepperoni (1pt=12pcs)
  • Artichoke Hearts (0pts)

Combine ingredients to liking and bake at 350 for 7 minutes. 


See? Super easy. And it’s only 6pts for the whole thing! I was so satisfied, I was shocked. 

But of course, we can’t forget dessert! Matt and I split half a pint of the Chocolate flavored Halo Top.  It tastes like a fricken Frosty from Wendy’s! But even better cause it’s got way less shit in it and it’s only 2 points for 1/2 cup! Seriously tasty but seriously expensive, like it will be for special occasions and that time of the month ONLY lol. 


What recipes for success do you have? Share them with me in the comments or by using the hashtag #deesweightlossjourney on twitter or instagram! 

XOXO

Day 11

Woof. I am hungry. I am tired. I am feeling so full of life. Wait, what? How can I be tired and full of life, you ask? Well I have been on this journey for 11 days and I can just feel the life coming back into my body. I know today I haven’t been as chipper as I normally am, but I think that’s gotta be hormonal or something. 

I’m stoked to be getting back into the gym today after work after being out since Saturday. I didn’t work out at all the last two days out of sheer exhaustion but I’m going back strong today. And I’m going to go to the step class again tomorrow night. I still haven’t charged my Fitbit which is extremely frustrating. Now that I’ve gotten my body used to what I’m doing to it, I want to work on my calorie burn vs calorie intake. Essentially, the better that ratio, the faster you get in shape. So I’m curious to see if that happens. 

I’m not trying to push myself or burn myself out though, but I need to see results so I don’t get discouraged. And that’s just because of who I am. But on the plus side, I can tell a difference physically already. It’s probably all in my head and I’m getting cocky af about it but whatever it is, its driving me forward. 

“Are your expectations for yourself too high or too low?”

I think I have too high of expectations for sure. I’ve always been obnoxiously cocky. I’m very full of myself but mostly in jest. But I do have high expectations for myself. Because I know I can do this. I have to. 

It’s one thing to say that though and another thing to actually follow through. I will. 

Will you? Let me know using the hashtag #deesweightlossjourney on twitter and instagram @realtalkwithdee

XOXO

7-9?

(Just a note, this will be an old update so please excuse the present tense verbiage. Also I’m rolling several days into one)

Day 7

Ok, if I thought that yesterday was busy, well shit. Today has been insane. So last night I worked at one rink until about 10:30, drove the 45, I got home, then went to bed. Well I had to be at the other rink by 7:15 this morning to help get ready for the ice show pictures that were happening today- I woke up at 6:45…. Actually I didn’t even wake up, Matt woke me up. Luckily I always put my clothes out the night before, so it wasn’t super crazy. But I did forget to put on a shirt under my sweatshirt. 

So I rushed out the door, half awake, got to the gas station, filled up my tank, and was on my way. I made it there in record time, like, 20 minutes. It’s normally a 30 minute drive so sorry mom if you’re reading this but I did go over the speed limit. 

Anyways, so I get there and it’s like insane. Kids everywhere. Parents doing photo forms. Insanity. But I made it through, I triamphed. Then I rushed to my home rink to hit the gym before work. The night was much smoother than I thought it was going to be and I was able to watch the Steel lose (sad). But they’re not out ion it yet, we’re going to the game on Friday for my birthday!!!

“Review your entries from the past 6 days. What patterns are you noticing?”

Well, I’ll be honest, I’m not going to go re-read all of my old posts. But I can tell you how I felt over the last few days of writing. I know I’ve been depressed. This opening of wounds has been anything but fun. Day by day I am getting better though. With eating cleaner and working out, it has changed my outlook for sure and I know that it will only go up from here. I hit rock bottom and I never want to be back there again. 

Day 8 

Let’s see….so I’m writing this about a day that I was not writing at all so let me see if I can remember what I even did…

Ok I worked at Dottys in the day time! I’m very proud of myself because I have not had any junk food from my work since I started this journey! I’ve walked past the M&Ms more times than I can count and I haven’t had any. I’m so beyond proud of myself. After Dottys I came to the rink to score keep. Now this was my first time a score keeping men’s league since the awful time I had a little while back. It went quite well, no tears. I let myself eat a grilled cheese for dinner that night even though I had taken the time to make dinner earlier in the night. My metabolism must be in overdrive because I am hungry all the time. 

“Describe the last time you had the type of fun that made you smile for a few days.”

If I’m being honest, it’s almost all the time. I’m one of those people who tries to find the fun in everything. Lately I’ve been finding myself smiling a lot more. I attribute that to a lot of things: I have a job that I LOVE, a new healthy lifestyle, great friends, my credit score is going up, and Matt and I are better than ever. 

I have a lot to be happy/thankful for. 

Day 9

Ok so that was yesterday. Monday? Honestly my days are so fucked up from work. Thank GOD for my calendar app on my phone, because without it, I would be lost. 

Monday was ok. It’s been busy as fuck at Dottys and I’m just so over it. I mean, I guess getting tips is nice but at what cost? Luckily I have a good closing partner who makes it all worth it. She was nice enough to come in early so I could head to the other rink to train a little more. So I quickly ran there in the rain that feels like it will never ever end and trained for an hour then came home. I called Matt mom because I hadn’t called her in forever and I felt like such an ass. Then I went to the pharmacy and FINALLY got my meds that have been there for god knows how long. Then I called my mom. 

Her and my dad got me a NutriBullet for my birthday, which isn’t till Friday, but I opened it anyways because I could not wait to use it. I had a smoothie for dinner and then promptly went to bed at 8 pm. I needed to sleep. It was amazing. I didn’t even wake up when Matt got home. 

“What would my ideal day of health look like? What do I need to do to make sure I achieve this daily?”

My ideal day of health would include sleeping in, eating healthy meals, excersicing and then spending time outside with Matt. I would also like it to include some self-care because I think that is necessary for health all around. 

I don’t think it’s an attainable thing for me to have all of that in one day at this point, but I think to get as close to that as possible. I just need to be disciplined with what I do everyday so that down the road, I can have days like that. 

Day 10

And we’re back! Hopefully I won’t have to do catch up posts like this very often, because that was a fucking doozy. Trying to remember what I did yesterday is a very tough thing to do. Because I’m trying to live in a way that the past is the past and I would do well to not dwell in it. 

“Describe 3 triggers in your life that lead to emotional eating.”

I’ve been very hungry today. I don’t know if it’s because I should be starting soon or what but I’m like wanting to eat everything. Even when I’m not hungry. Maybe it’s beacause I didn’t post for a few days and I forgot how big of a role my emotions play in my eating habits. So it’s probably stress and lack of sleep mixed with my elevated metabolism. 

As far as my triggers go, I would posit that stress is high up there on that list. I think because eating takes my mind off of what is going on that I can fall into a binge pretty easily. 

I think boredom is a huge one with me. If I don’t have something to do or think about, or even anyone to talk to, I find myself eating; and 9/10 times, it’s unhealthy food. 

Lastly I would think that one of my triggers is anxiety. Now I know what you’re thinking, “aren’t stress and anxiety the same thing?” Well yes and no. I stress so much sometimes that it brings on anxiety but this is a different kind of anxiety. I have a fear of passing out so I eat all the time to make sure my body is full and the blood surger is normal. But that is add back thing to think because I have never had diabetes and have only ever passed out from pain or dehydration. 

I eat to hide my struggle with mental illness but that is not an excuse. 
What would your responses be to these questions? Let me know using the hashtag #deesweightlossjourney on twitter and instagram @realtalkwithdee